Saboteur!

So, you’re going about your day, making healthy choices and feeling really good about how far you’ve come and how healthy you feel, then Blamo- your boss asks you to plan an office birthday party and you find yourself sitting in the middle of a room surrounded by people eating Sprinkles cupcakes and ice cream.  Do you give in and indulge, or do you grab a healthy lunch of salad and fruit?

This actually happened to me this week. Not only did I have to pick up  the cupcakes and ice cream,  I also had to sit in a room with them for an hour and I hadn’t eaten anything but fruit that morning.  Somehow I managed to not eat a single cupcake and made it to lunch an hour later and chose to eat a healthy salad with chicken and veggies.   Was it easy? No.  Did I survive? Yes.

Lately I have been motivated by two things.   How healthy I feel and seeing individuals that are obese.  I will explain both.

When  I was in Orlando, I was extremely limited by the food choices around me.  Usually when I travel I plan ahead and bring lots of healthy snacks that I can eat on the plane and in my hotel, but I was really tired and overwhelmed the night before I left so I didn’t go grocery shopping.  My choices were limited and the second day on my trip I over indulged and ate dessert during lunch and nachos and a fish sandwich for dinner.  That night and the next day I felt disgusting.  I was so bloated from the fat and sodium I am no longer used to eating that I spent $4.00 for a 4 pack of pepto-bismol tablets from the hotel gift shop.  That uncomfortable lesson stuck with me.  I realized that food can be a source of health and wellness or a poison.  I hated feeling that way and since that day have been very strict about what I choose to eat on a daily basis.  Lately I have been having a latte in the morning, salad or lean cuisine at lunch, and oatmeal for dinner. Yes, it is super boring but I enjoy it and it makes me feel really good.

When I say that I am motivated by the overweight or obese, here is what I mean.  I know what it is like to be overweight, and I do feel like people are not exactly the nicest to those who are heavier.  For myself, I know that the extra weight I carried was a reflection of how I felt about myself, which in general showed that I hated myself and didn’t care enough about my body to fuel it properly and fit exercise into my schedule.  I do not feel like this is true of everyone, but it definitely was for me.  The shame and guilt I felt on the inside was reflected by the weight I carried.  I know that I am never going to be a size 0 or 2 or 4, but I do know that I could be a size 18,20, or 22 and when I see people at my old weight or larger I am reminded by the choices I made then and the choices I am making now.  I care too much about myself at this point to over indulge, and I care too much about myself to sit on the couch for 5 hours every night after work. I read a lot of weight loss blogs and something that always sticks out to me is how much energy people seem to have after losing weight.  I won’t say that I am bouncing off the walls, but at least I feel that on most days I have a lot more energy than I did 30 pounds ago.

So for today, I am making healthy food choices and am going to the gym.  If I can do this, then anyone can!

Peace and love,

Amber

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One thought on “Saboteur!

  1. Pingback: Motivation vs. Inspiration | babystepstoabetterlife

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