I’m not ready to be a mom

I’m 28.  I have plenty of friends that have kids.  I certainly could have had a child by now but I am super glad I don’t.

I have been babysitting for an 18 month old and a 3 year odl for the past 44 hours…but who’s counting.  I have endured multiple meltdowns, lack of sleep (I got here on Tuesday at 4 a.m.), demanding children -“more Dora now”(umm…please?), and experienced the look of “what the hell are you still doing here?” a few times by the 18 month old.(me too buddy…me too).

The kids are over it.  I’m over it.*

I know this.  I am not cut out to be a single mom.  I get to give these kids back after 70 some hours and I am Tired. Sore. Drained. Sleep deprived. Emotionally instable.

I’m sure they’re is some unconditional connection between mother’s and their children.  That connection probably comes from them carrying their little bodies around for 9 months and then shoving them out of your own va-jay-jay (or really wanting kids and being willing to go through months and months of screening processes and paying $1000’s of dollars in adoption fees).  I didn’t experience that (again, thank God) and maybe that’s why I seriously can’t deal with it when your kid screams at me for 10 minutes straight.

Maybe someday I will have kids.  Maybe I won’t.  All I know is that I have limited patience and value my sanity and alone time.  In all seriousness I don’t know how parents do this.  Especially single parents- you deserve unlimited spa treatments, a round the clock nanny service, and about 1000 karma points.  Taking care of children is by far the most thankless job in the world and I am getting paid for this!  Remind me to thank my mom tomorrow.

I’m looking forward to sleeping in my own bed again and I am grateful for the freed0m and flexibility in my life.

Peace and Love,

Amber

*My sister say’s I’m “over” everything right now.  You’re right Cassie.  I am. The only thing I’m not over is 1. moving and 2. food.

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One thought on “I’m not ready to be a mom

  1. Lol. It is true. It can be hard taking care of children… especially other people’s children. But I think it’s all about finding the right rhythm. Structure is key. I don’t have children but I often babysit my niece (7 yrs old) and 2 nephews (4yrs old and 2 yrs old). Babies are a little harder b/c they need lots more attention. They may drive you nuts all day but when they lay down and sleep at night they are so darn cute it makes it all worth-while. At least in my opinion.

    I do love my free time and hate waking up early. I used to want 3 kids but now I think that’s a little on the ambitious side. If I only have one, I’ll be happy. But I’m going to have to find a husband who wants to take the morning shift. Haha.

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