On Tuesday I ran four miles on the treadmill in new shoes. Today my calves are pretty sore, like, with every step I am reminded that I have calves, sore. I have a run with my running coach, and I am pretty sure we’re going to do 6 miles, if not more. I always worry about my runs with my coach because I am nervous that I’m not going to be able to do what I set out to accomplish.
I’m at the point where I don’t really enjoy running and I’m starting to lose sight of what originally motivated me to sign up for a half marathon, then add a second half marathon later in the summer. I realize that I am not going to enjoy running everyday, however I feel like I am in a slump where every run feels anxiety producing beforehand. I want to believe that I have six miles in me today
The good news. I can just focus on today. On now. On the next mile, or the next step. If I never want to run another race after September, I don’t have to. If running isn’t fun or doesn’t bring me an ounce of joy I can stop and do something else.
I believe in challenging myself and that it is necessary to push beyond my comfort zone. Things that seem unobtainable usually aren’t. We all must quell the voice in our head that tells us that we aren’t enough, that we can’t, that we shouldn’t try. We must draw upon other obstacles in our life that we have overcome, knowing that we had doubts then as we do now. We can and we must.